march

I cannot believe that it is almost April. Where does the time go? (that sounds like a grandmother) I am getting ready to take round 3 of tests and I am starting to stress out, of course. However, I have decided to start running again. It really helped me manage my stress before so I hope it helps this time. I hope to run a 5k at the end of April. Josh ran one today. I on the other hand was not so prepared for the hills. Give me straight roads and I could go all day but throw a hill in there and I am out just like that. Besides hanging the frames and painting the new furniture I got, I am finished with my room renovation. I decided last weekend that I needed to "womanize" my room. I still had a little girl's room and since I will be here for 4 more years it was time to upgrade. Once I made my decision to womanize, I got right to it and got everything thats going to be done right now done in one week (thanks to josh and his truck). Now all thats left to do is paint my amazing new armoire that I got courtesy of the thrift store and tv stand which I won't have time to do until summer. A few weeks ago, we went to the beach for spring break. It was just what I needed. While I did at moments wish I was on Alternative Spring Break again this year, I knew that I need to sit, relax, and get some rest for one week out of the semester. But leave it to me to read books on my week away from school. I bought The Last Song by Nicholas Sparks to take to read on the beach. I read it in 2 days and ended up laying out by the pool crying. At one point Josh asked if I wanted to get in the pool because he saw my face sweating. I had to inform him that that was not sweat but instead tears because my book was so so good. He of course made fun of me and I couldn't do anything but laugh at myself. I have become my mother. She is the world's worst cryer and I am following in her footsteps. It does not take much at all the get the waterworks flowing. I bought another NS book at the beach (The Lucky One) and read it and cried again. Saturday, while Josh worked, I drove to pick up his new kitten Hank. He is the cutest thing ever (besides my lola of course). He is also the most scared kitten I have ever seen. If you move he runs under the bed. He has gotten much better in the past 2 days but he still has a little ways to go. This is going to be a test of patience but he is too cute that it makes it all worth it. It makes me sad though that he is so scared. Speaking of sad, the wonderful Lauren Huff is moving away from me. She is either moving to Austin or to Washington DC both of which are way too far away from me. I will have to start saving for plane tickets. She is amazing and will be a famous graphic designer one day. You will see. In the mean time be praying for her and God's direction in her decisions. She cannot leave without a mike and eds/snobiz date :)

too long

Apparently I forgot that I even had a blog. I haven't written anything in almost an entire year. How crazy. I guess I should update you on life these days. Yesterday me and josh celebrated our one year. This past year has been so insane but so wonderful. We have had to get through a couple of things but we did and we're better because of it. He is such a blessing in my life and I couldnt imagine being without him. He is absolutely my best friend. We have so much fun together and I cannot wait for the next year. I love you deary. Also both josh and I found out that we were ACCEPTED to Auburn's Harrison School of Pharmacy. We will be in Auburn together for the next 4 years. God is just too good to even describe sometimes. I cannot even tell you how much I doubted that I was going to even get an interview but God did it. In the process he was teaching me patience, which if you know me you know I have none. not only did I get an interview I got an early interview. Because I have an awful gpa I was deferred. I had to wait 2 long, very stressful months. The Lord knew that would happen. It wasn't on accident that I made the best grades of my college career the one semester that my grades really mattered. God worked things together for the good. He promises it and he likes to show you that he is serious. I had to wait but both me and josh got the one email that we have been waiting for for the past 4 years at the same time. It was such a fun and exciting day and God definitely got all the glory. There is no way I can claim that one for myself. Since my last post my cat Bella died and now I have a new little one named Lola. She is a mess but so incredibly loving. Any cat who loves to snuggle is the perfect cat to me. She is so wonderful that josh now wants one of his own that can stay at his house. There has just been so much that has changed in the past year it is ridiculous. One of the biggest is this year I actually live in a house where everyone loves Jesus. I never knew how much I appreciated simple things like not having alcohol everywhere or even just being able to hang crosses in the living room. While the Lord taught me A LOT last year he also taught me I needed to be choosier about who I lived with. You need other christian girls to talk to about things and its so much easier when they are only a living room away. I haven't been home to clay in over a month now but I finally get to go tomorrow night. We're going to party for Mel's birthday and then Saturday my whole family is working with habitat for humanity. Also on Saturday I am going to take my little brother driving because he turns 15 on Monday. Everyone needs to watch out because Brian will be driving. As scary as that is I am so excited to see how much skill he has in his little honda. I have been doing homework for 5 hours now so I am going to finally go to bed. Hopefully it won't be another year until I write again.

these days

for some reason i have not written anything in what feels like forever! so much has happened in my life since january. i am in the library right now (NOT) studying for my last final of the semester. so far they have been so hard. on friday the 8th i will be boarding a plane to travel all day to brazil. God is so good. I sent out letters and raised money myself and when it came time to pay my way i had the exact amount i needed. i love when He shows off. we are going to be doing basketball camps and working with an orphanage. right up my alley. i am a big ball of emotions about this trip. i am excited to get away and to see all of the amazing things God is going to do in and through our group. i am nervous about getting yellow fever or swine flu (im praying for a kick butt immune system). i cannot wait to meet and get to know everyone that is going. i have such high expectations after ASB (Alternative Spring Break. for spring break i went with a group of 19 people to charleston, sc to work with habitat for humanity. it was literally THE best trip of my life. i came away with 19 new best friends. we see each other almost on a weekly basis. i am terribly sad some of them are graduation and leaving. i watched the dvd of the trip today and still teared up a little bit. it was amazing and i would encourage every student at auburn to apply next year. i will definitely be going again. i also have a new beau. his name is josh. we have been together a little over 2 months now. hes pretty darn great. now the house situation is reversed. at christmas time i was the only one going stag and now i am the only one who is taken. strange how it works out like that. the day after i get back from brazil i start my new job at CVS! finally a job that has something to do with my future (plus it pays pretty good). i am nervous and excited all at the same time. it always weird starting somewhere new because everyone already has their friends there. but they were new at some point. school this semester has really taken a toll on my relationships. its a little bit my fault but i just havent had the time that i want to devote to the people in my life. i go to class everyday, maybe nap, study and then im so tired i go right to sleep. i really let my relationships slip through the cracks this semester and i am really going to try to do better. i barely even talk to my mom anymore and i used to have a convo a day with her. i feel very disconnected. thank goodness i have a big God to remind me i am not alone and that He really is all i need. no matter how bad of a day i am having or how stressed out i am he is always bigger than those things. he loves me no matter what (thank goodness!) just knowing that makes any bad thing just a little bit better. Deuteronomy 31:8 says "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." it is so easy to let the enemy sneak in and tell us we are alone in what we are going through and there is no way out. we get stressed, worried, angry, etc. it is such a trick of the enemy. Jesus has been where we are and he is with us through those times. do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. HE WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU NOR FORSAKE YOU. he is ALWAYS there. your prayers matter and your life matters to him ALWAYS.

a little random i know but you love me anyways.

lovelovelovelovelove

Its been almost a month since I've written anything. Christmas and New Years came and went before I even realized. My break was amazing but I am very glad to be back at my own house. There's just something about having your own bed that makes it home. Things have been so crazy lately. School has started back and I am once again overwhelmed. I am taking psychology of learning, genomic biology, immunology, and biochemistry. I'm not sure how it will end up but I do know it is going to be a rough semester. Wrestling season is starting back up next week and I am really sturggling with what time I have to dedicate to what things in my life. Also, tomorrow starts 21 days of prayer and fasting at church. I am still struggling with what to fast. I've thought about a few different things but all of them just seem too normal and not personal. I cannot wait to see what God is going to do in these upcoming 3 weeks. It is so cool to know that so many people are fasting and spending so much quality time with Christ all at the same time. It is so encouraging. God is just really moving here in auburn. Church of the Highlands just started their college service called ONE on Thursday night. It was so awesome to be in a room full of people my same age who are seeking Christ when it is not the ordinary. every one of the people who came were there because they wanted to be there. Not because their mom and dad made them but because they wanted to encounter Jesus. It is just so refreshing to know that I am not alone in the life that I am living. God has a way of reminding me that he is always here right beside me. Whenever I am feeling so discouraged he shows me something or sends me someone to show me that it is ok. Me having the science oriented brain that I have, I do better with seeing things and proving them to understand them. Hebrews 11:1 says "Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." While I believe in God and I put my faith and my everything in him and him alone, sometimes my science brain gets the best of me and I start to ask why, or how, or why not. God knows this about me because he created me. He knows I need a little encouraging and even sometimes I need to be put in my place. He could do it in other ways but because he knows me to the core of my being, he knows how to get my attention and he knows how to SHOW me that he is loving me always. Just like people have different love languages within their earthly relationships, Christ has one with each and every one of us. He knows my love language and he is the absolute expert at it. I know it is old school but this song has just spoken to me lately.

Jesus, Lover of my soul,
Jesus, I will never let you go
You’ve taken me from the miry clay
You've set my feet upon the Rock,
and now i know
I love you, I need you,
Though my world may fall, I’ll never let you go
My Saviour, my closest friend,
I will worship you until the very end

I love Jesus and I will live for him because I know where he brought me from and I know that I cannot do it alone. No matter what happens in my life, I NEED him. It is not an option. I have to have him. I have to know him. I have to be captivated by him. His love is more than I could ever even begin to imagine.

education.

I love coming home but as soon as I get here I think of a million things that I could be doing that might be a little more fun back in Auburn. If I magically got a genie and got 3 wishes I would wish for all of my friends and family move toAuburn. My second wish would be to live life for a few days in the brain of my amazing roommate emma thompson. I still don't have an idea about the 3rd but maybe it will come to me someday (thats beside the point) I love coming home to the people but the stuff to do here is limited. And living with your parents and siblings who still have to go to work and school is weird too. I have been asleep by like 10 because they wake me up at 7 when they leave. That doesn't happen at AU. I miss having my own things. ::for those of you who don't know, my parents turned my room into a playroom for my brothers when I moved out:: The only things that are mine in this house are the things I bring with me and my prom dresses. I always took for granted juts the fact that some things are mine. I guess that is always the case when you have them. Like the quote "you don't know what you've got til its gone". I didn't know how great it was having my own room, my own bathroom, my own closet, even my own bed until times like these when I am living out of a suitcase and sleeping on a 12 year old stinky boy's bed. Maybe these times are good for me because it makes me appreciate the little things. Sure all of us forget to be thankful for things most of the time. Maybe we just need to be reminded what it would be like to not have those things. Sadly one of my dad's best friend passed away on Wednesday morning. That also got me thinking about the people I take for granted. It just made me think what it would feel like if one of my friends died suddenly. I cannot even imagine. I love every one of them. Even the ones who I don't talk to all the time and don't see very much. I still love the fact that they are even just a little part of my life. Christ gives but he also takes away. He uses everything to tech me and show me what he wants me to learn. I am learning from the greatest teacher in the history of the world. I am so thankful for the things he gives but sometimes it is the times that he takes things away from me that teach the most.


on a lighter note(not to my father) I made the dreaded D in anatomy which means I will get to do it all over again another semester.

random is the life.

I absolutely LOVE this time of year. There are so many fun things going on, the alabama weather is awesome, its finally normal for me to be listening to my Christmas music, and school is pretty much over. However, this is also the time of year when it slaps me in the face that I don't have a man friend. Yesterday the roomies were talking about having all of their "dates" over one night for a little get together and BONUS...i don't have one. I refuse to let it bother me when I have so many good things going on. They can have their party. I'll just go hang out with cooler people :) Anyways, enough about that. I realized today that I have not been on facebook for almost a month and a half...pause for the shock...It doesn't feel like that long. maybe because I don't really miss it. I have been so busy that I have had better things to do. I do miss seeing everyone's pictures or talking to people that I don't get to see all the time but don't really call. But for the most part it has been pretty awesome. Sure I have not been invited to some things because people STILL don't remember that I didn't get their facebook invite...because that's official. I am sure I will get back on it eventually but I want it to be something I check every now and then, not every day 90,000 times a day. My little cousin Jack came up to me at Thanksgiving and said "I saw your facebook." His parents had shown him mine one day. He then told me very excitedly, "I get mine in 2 years." haha. I love little kids. Especially the ones in my family. I am going to go on a movie date with my cousin Molly when I go home. She is 7 and she gets to pick the movie. I can't wait! When I go home I will get to see my friends and my family and I am so pumped. I think this weekend my bestest friend in the whole wide world is going to come visit me! She is such a blessing. People think I'm funny but they don't know Melissa Sims. We stay on the phone for like hours each day just laughing so hard we cry. I am so incredibly blessed with solid Christian friends that have been my friends for a long time now. There is just nothing like a Christian friendship. I love it. I'm praying about small groups for this upcoming semester. I feel like God had just been laying on my heart to lead a strictly fellowship/hang out/get to know other Christians college small group. I thought about doing it this semester but it just didn't happen. I know from personal experience that the friendships that really last are the ones built on Christ. But you just don't get the chance to make those lasting friendships on a sunday morning when you greet 3-5 people. That's the whole reason Highlands does small groups. because that's where true life change happens. Proverbs 27:17 says "As iron sharpens iron so one man sharpens another." Whenever you get believers together even if you're just hanging out, eventually Jesus Christ will come up. You don't always have to be studying the word to get what Christ wants to teach you. I am praying about it but I have gotten a lot of confirmation so I'm almost 100% positive I'll be doing it. I just love how when you're uncertain about things Christ always lets you know he is right there with you and he is supporting you no matter what. He is just awesome like that.

This is the most random post ever but I haven't slept since 8:00 yesterday morning so I blame it on the delrium.

analysis.

Taking a trip back to my microeconomics class...this week/weekend has been full of cost benefit analysis. I have had to think about the costs and benefits of every choice. This week I had to choose to study instead of hanging out with my friends. I chose to bond with my roommates over taco soup and the victoria's secret fashion show instead of going to wednesday night service. I chose to not go home for a Christmas party to stay in AU and go to a friend's birthday party and study. In every choice there is an opportunity cost. It is the value of the choice not chosen. I realized that my faith in Jesus Christ has its own set of opportunity costs. When I choose Jesus each day there are things that I am not choosing. I am not choosing the world and the things in it. I am not choosing people. I am not choosing actions. I am not choosing a lot of things. But what is their value? The value of saying yes to Christ is too great for me to even know it all. The other things pale in comparison of having Jesus in every part of my life. I used to focus on the "rules" of being a Christian and I sometimes questioned the opportunity cost. Pastor Chris gave an example that really put it into perspective for me. He was talking about being faithful to his wife. He said if he wakes up every morning and slaps himself on the hand all day thinking "Don't cheat. Don't cheat. Don't cheat" he probably wouldn't cheat but it might end up making him resentful. Or he could wake up every single day and fall in love with his wife. If he falls in love with her all over again everyday, cheating will be the furthest thing from his mind. That struck a chord with me. Our relationship with Jesus us the same. If we focus on all the "do's and do not's" then we're going to become resentful and jealous. However, if we get up everyday and simply fall madly in love with Christ, we won't even desire the things of this world. They will be the furthest thing from our minds. I am so grateful that I serve a living God. One who is real in my life. Not a statue or something I have to abide by specific rules to worship him. I wish more than anything that everyone would come to know this love that I know. It will change your life. It isn't merely an option anymore. It is everything.