worn out

These past couple of weeks have been ROUGH. I have had a Mammalian test (which I actually did great on) and our very first DAD test is Friday night. For those of you who have no clue what DAD is, it is a huge class called Drugs and Diseases and we have this class every semester for the next 2 years. This test we have on Friday is literally 17 chapters. I have a 2 inch binder FULL of notes that are all on this one test. It is pretty much Organic Chem I and II shoved into 4 weeks. Being someone who did not understand one thing in Organic when I took it in undergrad....I have been studying quite a bit. I am blaming that for the reason I haven't written a blog in a while. I have been at the school studying more than I have ever studied for anything in my life. Now, because I am running on almost no sleep, my immune system is ticked. I guess my screaming at the game Saturday (war eagle) triggered some sickness. It started as a scratchy throat and now it is a full blown congested, coughing, painful, thing. I can't really take medicine, or at least I am scared to take any, becauseI have to stay up and study and the medicines I actually need are going to make me sleepy so I am suffering through it with the help of anything warm I can eat or drink. Needless to say I am ready for Friday night to be over with. I need to just get some rest and right now I can't really do that. Then Saturday I have to start it all again because Monday we have a CAPP midterm and another Mammalian test in a week. I know that this is the life I signed up for, but my brain just might need a break. I am living for Christmas break. By then I am sure I will be COMPLETELY worn out.

war eagle

FOOTBALL! It is FINALLY that time of year again! I will be spending the whole day....working. All weekend I will be holding it down at good ole CVS. Tonight, all day tomorrow and Sunday, and Monday night I will be making dollars. One positive is that it is usually DEAD on gameday and we have a flat screen tv in our waiting area so I won't miss that much. Even though I will not physically be at the game I will most definitely be there in spirit and I will be (silently) cheering the whole time. Josh has to work too. We actually have the same weekend schedule so we can go to the games together. I am amazed since we work at 2 different stores that it just happened that way. We are also going to go to the Mississippi State (that's the correct spelling for all you bama fans) game on Thursday. It is going to be a loooooong day but now is the time do things like that.

I believe in Auburn and love it. War eagle.

sweet little patient

I found out today that I get to go to my first patient visit this Thursday! I am excited and so nervous at the same time. I just feel so overwhelmed because I don't know a thing about drugs or very much about getting patient history. But I find comfort in the fact that I can talk to a tree so I will talk to them if thats all I can do. Of course I won't be able to post details or HIPPA will be knocking on my front door but I am pretty stinking excited! I hope its a sweet little patient. I don't know if i can handle mean ones this week :)

dislike

Have you ever been in a situation where no matter what you do, someone is determined to dislike you? Even the lack of doing something is doing something bad? No amount of talking, or not talking, or being honest can change the way this person feels about you? I for sure have. I am right now. I have tried everything I know to do to make the situation better and its actually not any better at all. It might even be worse than before I started trying to make it better. It is so aggravating and discouraging at the same time. I forgive this person for everything they've done but they still go out of their way to be rude to me (more than others). It is so difficult to live around every single day. Romans 12:18 says, "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone". I am encouraged that the first part of that verse is included. IF it is possible, as far as it depends on YOU....I can only take responsibility for my own actions. If the person refuses to believe that I am not out to get them,  then there may not be much more I can do than to continue to pray and try to be nice. I am going to choose to obey the golden rule in Luke 6:31 "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". The Lord will judge me for my actions and that person for theirs. I love Jesus and I am going to make a choice to act like it.
When God is your reason for loving, your ability to love is guaranteed.

highlight

Today was the first morning of pharmacy school that I considered skipping. I didn't...but I REALLY wanted to. I was so sleepy this morning for some reason and it was so tempting. There's just something about being able to watch class on video anytime I want that makes sleeping in seem like a good option. I am actually getting so much of my work done before it is due. I am even going to SI for the first time ever. I hope I see some good grades to show off my hard work. I am in mammalian all over again because...we all know that story. Every single day sitting in class, I am just so angry that I have to be there. I am so mad at Dr. Wit because of his unfairness, his rudeness, his whole attitude. And knowing I have to sit and listen to him for another semester makes me so ill. Maybe one day I will get over it...maybe.

I am off to go study a little more and then get some rest. I got some new highlighters so I am ready to mark all over my notes! It is pretty sad when the highlight of my day is just that.

parting is such sweet sorrow

Today I woke up SUPER early and drove to Trussville for Josh's grandmother's funeral. It was such a good service. I had to hold back my tears for sure. There is such a peace in knowing that Mawmaw Holderfield is in Heaven with Jesus. Right where she has wanted to be her whole life. Please continue to pray for all of the family. I cannot imagine what it is like to lose a parent or even a grandparent. God will be glorified through the life that she lived. It was great though because I got to meet some of Josh's family that they don't get to see very much at all. It was great to hear all kinds of stories about mawmaw that I hadn't heard. She will obviously be very missed.

Pharmacy school is already feeling a little overwhelming. I just can feel things starting to pile up on me and I am getting nervous. I am trying to stay on top of it to the best of my ability. I already feel like I need 6 naps a day. I will get through it though. God has seen me through so much already that I have no doubts that if I put in the work, I will be rewarded. God is too good.

tear

Josh's grandmother passed away today. She was so stinkin sweet. It makes me so sad. Times like this make me glad that I am a girl. I would have had a couple of good cries and gotten out my emotions but Josh is a guy and thats not how they work. Hopefully his family will wait until Saturday to have the funeral so both of can go and not miss school. I am trying my hardest to be supportive and comforting so I really want to be there for him. It was so hard when I couldn't go to his grandfather's funeral earlier this year. Just keep him and his family in your prayers as they go through this rough time.