May 5, 2009

these days

for some reason i have not written anything in what feels like forever! so much has happened in my life since january. i am in the library right now (NOT) studying for my last final of the semester. so far they have been so hard. on friday the 8th i will be boarding a plane to travel all day to brazil. God is so good. I sent out letters and raised money myself and when it came time to pay my way i had the exact amount i needed. i love when He shows off. we are going to be doing basketball camps and working with an orphanage. right up my alley. i am a big ball of emotions about this trip. i am excited to get away and to see all of the amazing things God is going to do in and through our group. i am nervous about getting yellow fever or swine flu (im praying for a kick butt immune system). i cannot wait to meet and get to know everyone that is going. i have such high expectations after ASB (Alternative Spring Break. for spring break i went with a group of 19 people to charleston, sc to work with habitat for humanity. it was literally THE best trip of my life. i came away with 19 new best friends. we see each other almost on a weekly basis. i am terribly sad some of them are graduation and leaving. i watched the dvd of the trip today and still teared up a little bit. it was amazing and i would encourage every student at auburn to apply next year. i will definitely be going again. i also have a new beau. his name is josh. we have been together a little over 2 months now. hes pretty darn great. now the house situation is reversed. at christmas time i was the only one going stag and now i am the only one who is taken. strange how it works out like that. the day after i get back from brazil i start my new job at CVS! finally a job that has something to do with my future (plus it pays pretty good). i am nervous and excited all at the same time. it always weird starting somewhere new because everyone already has their friends there. but they were new at some point. school this semester has really taken a toll on my relationships. its a little bit my fault but i just havent had the time that i want to devote to the people in my life. i go to class everyday, maybe nap, study and then im so tired i go right to sleep. i really let my relationships slip through the cracks this semester and i am really going to try to do better. i barely even talk to my mom anymore and i used to have a convo a day with her. i feel very disconnected. thank goodness i have a big God to remind me i am not alone and that He really is all i need. no matter how bad of a day i am having or how stressed out i am he is always bigger than those things. he loves me no matter what (thank goodness!) just knowing that makes any bad thing just a little bit better. Deuteronomy 31:8 says "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." it is so easy to let the enemy sneak in and tell us we are alone in what we are going through and there is no way out. we get stressed, worried, angry, etc. it is such a trick of the enemy. Jesus has been where we are and he is with us through those times. do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. HE WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU NOR FORSAKE YOU. he is ALWAYS there. your prayers matter and your life matters to him ALWAYS.

a little random i know but you love me anyways.